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Parenting playbook » Parental wellbeing » Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting

    "Positive Parenting" is an approach that focuses on children's emotional and social needs while creating a supportive and encouraging environment for them. 

    What is "Positive Parenting"?

    Positive parenting is based on the following principles:

    • Respect and empathy: Respecting children and accepting their emotions is the basis of education. This approach helps children understand and manage their own feelings.
    • Positive reinforcement: Positive behavior and effort are rewarded so that children learn what is right and why it is important.
    • Open communication: Open and honest communication between parents and children is important, allowing children to express their feelings and thoughts.
    • Consistency and regularity: Consistent rules and routines provide children with security and predictability.
    • Emotional support: Emotional support from parents helps children feel safe and contributes to their healthy emotional development.

    Why is it good for us and the children?

    • For parents:
      • Better relationship: Positive parenting strengthens the parent-child relationship and builds deeper trust.
      • Less conflict: Positive communication and approach reduces everyday conflicts and arguments.
      • Greater satisfaction: Parents feel more satisfaction in education, as they see the positive development of their children.
    • For children:
      • Higher self-esteem: Positive feedback increases children's self-confidence and self-esteem.
      • Better Social Skills: Positive parenting helps children better understand and manage other people's feelings.
      • Fewer behavior problems: Positive reinforcement and consistent rules reduce the occurrence of behavior problems.
      • Emotional security: Children feel emotionally secure knowing that their parents always support them.

    10 steps on the way to positive parenting

    • Be a positive role model for your children: Set a good example with your behavior so that your children learn positive behavior from you. Be consistent in your actions and words to remain authentic to them.
    • Use conscious language: Choose your words carefully to convey encouragement and positive messages. Avoid negative comments and use affirming and supportive language instead.
    • Use positive reinforcement tools: Reward good behavior and efforts to motivate your children to do the right thing. Praise and rewards help reinforce positive behavior patterns.
    • Acknowledge your child's feelings: Listen and accept your children's feelings without judging them. Show them that their feelings are important and count.
    • Meet your child where he is: Recognize your child's current emotional and developmental state and adapt to it. Be patient and support him to move at his own pace.
    • Meet yourself where you are: Recognize your own emotional state and limitations, and be patient with yourself. Give yourself time and space to grow so you can become a better parent.
    • Be an active audience for your child: Listen actively and with interest to your children so that they feel that they are important to you. Give them your full attention when they speak and show an interest in their feelings.
    • Guide, support without being overly controlling: Guide and give direction without being overly controlling. Help them discover their own path while you support them in their decisions.
    • Let your child be a child: Let your children enjoy their childhood and be free to play and explore. Don't put too much pressure on them to perform, but support them in free self-expression.
    • Focus on love: Always show your love and care for your children. Love and support are the most important basis for positive education, which helps your children's emotional development and happiness.
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    One of the important elements of positive parenting is the use of conscious language. This means that we consciously choose our words and communication style to create a supportive and encouraging environment for our children. This includes active listening, paying attention to tone and body language, and using consistent language. Such communication helps children feel safe, better understand expectations, and develop a positive self-esteem.

    10 ideas for using conscious language

    • Listen actively: Pay attention to your children's words and nonverbal cues, showing that you value their thoughts and feelings.
      • Example: When they speak, turn to them with your full attention, nod and use phrases like "I understand" or "tell me more about that."
    • Pay attention to your tone and body language: Pay attention to the tone of your voice and your body language when you communicate with your child. Use a calm and gentle tone of voice, maintain eye contact, and ensure your body language conveys openness and warmth.
      • Example: If you are angry or upset, take a deep breath and speak calmly so that your child does not feel threatened.
    • Be conscious of your vocabulary: Build permanent phrases into your parenting language that you can use all the time. Such effective and consistent language ensures that your messages are understandable and clear.
      • Example: "Do it now!" instead of giving an order, say: "Please do what I asked!" By doing this, you convey politeness and respect, but you also express expectations.
    • Give positive feedback: Constantly give positive feedback on your children's behavior and efforts. This motivates them to do the right thing.
      • Example: Say "You should be so proud of yourself for doing your homework so well" or "I see how much work you've done on this, great job!"
    • Avoid negative expressions: Use as few bans and criticisms as possible. Instead, focus on positive requests and affirmations.
      • Example: Instead of saying "Don't do this/that!", say "Please do this/that!"
    • Accept your child's feelings: Acknowledge and accept your children's feelings without judging them. Show them that their feelings are important and matter to you too.
      • Example: If your child is sad, say: "I see you are sad, tell me what happened?"
    • "We" instead of "I"/"You": Use phrases that suggest a sense of community and collaboration, such as "We'll figure this out together."
      • Example: "Let's work together on this task" instead of "Do it alone."
    • Be patient and understanding: Remain patient and understanding when communicating. Take your time, give your child time to express himself.
      • Example: If your child hesitates to answer, don't rush him, give him space to think.
    • Encourage questions: Encourage your children to ask questions and answer them patiently and openly.
      • Example: As an encouragement, you can say, "There are no stupid questions, feel free to ask anything that comes to mind."
    • Build positive habits: Build positive habits into everyday conversations so they become a natural part of family life.
      • Example: Say something positive to your child every day, like "I love you so much" or "I'm glad you're part of our family."

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