The perfect family simply doesn’t exist! Anyone can face challenges in everyday life, but there are tools to help overcome them!
Numerous studies and research have been conducted on what makes a well-functioning family, yet there is no universal recipe that works the same for everyone. Nevertheless, we believe that although the quantity of ingredients may vary, it is well graspable what components can build up a well-functioning family.
Based on many years of parenting and numerous experiences related to our work, we have concluded that three fundamental elements are necessary for a well-functioning family. Firstly, a prominent role is played by quality CONNECTION; additionally, the level of COOPERATION among family members is also important, as well as how they organize their everyday lives and the role of CHARGING UP plays in this. All three areas are interconnected, influencing each other, as for example, a good daily routine includes sharing household activities with each other but also leaves room for relaxation or time spent together. Let’s take a closer look at these three building blocks!
CONNECTION
Although this is a complex concept that appears on several levels, approached from an operational perspective, the quality of interaction and communication among family members can be simplified. We can also say that the basis of family communication is respect, openness, honesty, where it is good to speak directly and kindly with each other. But what about anger and, let’s say, a cursing teenager? How can we improve empathy and why is it important at all? How can we encourage our children not to intentionally hurt each other? How to apologize? Numerous different topics can arise in this category, and none of them is less important than the other. We write about these in detail in the relevant chapters.
COOPERATION
In every aspect of life, we need to work together, think with others, and yes, our family is no exception. It is worth giving children a taste of what it means to “work” in a team as soon as possible so that they can see and experience that they can get further together than if they try alone. Of course, we can also say, “We are the parents! We’ll decide what to do!” but it is important to take into account how big the child is and what the question is. There are topics where the parent decides for a long time, but there are also those that can be handed over to the child from a very young age. It’s worth trying because in the long run, the invested energy will surely pay off, and not least, we, as parents, can also learn from it.
Our approach to cooperation was that children can experience and learn it best at home through household chores. A positive consequence of this direction is that sharing responsibilities has a positive effect on everyday family life as well because while children learn how to take care of themselves, their living space, and family members, involving them in household chores also develops relationship skills, such as clear communication, negotiation, and teamwork. Not to mention that if we involve them, we have less tasks to do, which reduces possible tensions, and since it frees up time, more time is available for each other, for ourselves. Whether you’re already sharing household chores or just starting out, you can find useful tips in articles about cooperation!
CHARGE UP
This building block of well-functioning families serves as a foundation and support for the above-mentioned two points. If we have the opportunity to recharge our depleted elements, we can connect more easily, and cooperation also becomes smoother. But how can we create the opportunity for recharging and what help can we call upon? We have found that if we are well organized, have a pre-established schedule, then we will have the opportunity to recharge individually and as a family. Routines help each family member to know who, what, when, and in what order, and how often to do things. Everyday life becomes predictable, which creates not only operational but also emotional predictability at home, which helps children and teenagers feel safe. Additionally, routines based on entertainment or time spent together strengthen family relationships and the sense of belonging. For example, reading a bedtime story together, regularly having family meals, or just talking on the way to school can be special times for both adults and children.
Although change requires additional energy and perseverance from all parties, commitment and joint efforts in the areas of connection, cooperation, and charging up contribute to making the family a cohesive, supportive, and a solidly grounded unit.
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